Calm your nerdy nerves, Game of Thrones fans! The finale of this season’s GoT has left many fans (especially those who have not read the books) with many cliffhangers that are torturous, given that we have to wait another whole year for the next season to come. The series is popular for its racy, bloody, and controversial scenes all meshed within a fictional medieval era filled with magic, mystery, and dragons. Added to that are the political conflicts and character developments of those characters we root for (even if they die). For fun’s sake, in line with the 116th Philippine Independence that happened few days before the finale, here are some reasons why Filipinos, have they enter Westeros with their counterfeit Louis Vuitton bags and balikbayan boxes, can survive the bloodbath and downright atrocity of George RR Martin’s awesomely sick fantasy world.
1. Our names render us elusive.
“I am Topacio of House Madlangtuta, Blood of the Macadangdangs, Second of His Name, Leaver of Slippers, Maker of Pinakbet and Dinardaraan.” Should some cunning Lannisters, Boltons, or Martells hire an assassin, that assassin will have to learn some hard language.
2. We can eat practically anything.
The Hound did not get all the chicken he wanted but guess what? He’s welcome to feast with us with out fried insects that The Reach cannot cultivate, and roast dogs to his terror (still a classic stereotype. It works!)
3. We do not trust many leaders.
Still one of the most corrupt countries, and with current political issues crumbling the government, Filipinos somehow despise politics. And we all know that in Westeros, trusting someone can cost you your head, your wife and son, you eyes, your throat, and all other body parts that contain a major blood vessel. So we trust practically no one, and we don’t need Petyr’s knife on throats to do so.
4. We are religious and conservative.
Incest is a dreadful concept for a Roman Catholic country. The thought is as terrifying as hearing that King Joffrey is your next customer when you’re the top prostitute of the Baelish whorehouse. And, speaking of Joffrey, we all know that he’s a product of incest, so you can thank us for that later.
5. We are farmers and fishers.
A country with vast coastlines and rich valleys, we can be recruited as workers in The Reach, which is a safe haven. The Reach plays an important role in Westeros because they produce much of the food in the seven kingdoms, and with winter coming (seriously, when is it coming?), you do not want to mess with The Reach if you don’t want to starve and freeze to death. We can also be hands to the Iron Islands and the Riverlands.
6. We love bargains!
While some of us love to fluster people with our “belongings,” like many of you, we love bargains. This plays an important factor when dealing with freemen, the Free Cities, and casual vagabonds and travellers. Margaery will totes be jealous of our Volantis silk and Qarth necklaces.
7. We bandwagon too much.
Well, from NBA finals, to The Fault in Our Stars, and even to GoT, we love to talk about what many people talk about. And then what happens when many people love it? Hell we will love it, too, even though it means nothing to us. How is this helpful, you ask? The Starks did not like Joffrey, and then the Red Wedding happened. We are practically the Tyrells — going with the majority to promote the so-called “peace and prosperity.”
8. We were warriors all along.
In the time before gunpowder took over warfare (thank you, China!), Filipinos championed the islands from Spanish conquistadors using handcrafted swords and weapons made from iron and wood. One of the first Spanish fleet who landed on the islands met the vicious Lapu-Lapu in Mactan.Word has it that Lapu-Lapu used poison, too. And though we may not be successful in putting down the Clegane brothers or Brienne with bare hands, we’ll put up a good fight.
9. We’re no new to dragons
Yeah, yeah, yeah… they can still cook us with their breaths but dragons, like a true reptilian monster, are not all new to us. We are home to one of the largest crocodile ever found, the natural habitat for alligators and komodo dragons, and lizards are part of our home ceilings. Khaleesi will be so happy about this.
10. We respect marriage
We marry who we love, and it is a trip through Westeros, the Narrow Sea, and the Free Cities and back before you can bed someone. Forced marriages are totally outdated, and this certainly avoids extreme drama like Rhaegar-Robert-Lyanna and even the complex Eddard-Catelyn-Petyr-Jon-Lysa five-somes. If you haven’t been watching closely, the events of Game of Thrones are driven much by romance — both sweet and vile.